Milk
by Eurgh
Summary: I was gonna finish it all! Kitty and Kurt share a fluffy, cute moment around midnight what business has she drinking milk right from the carton Now a Two-Shot
1. Milk

**This is based on Mainstream. What would have happened if there really hadn't been intruders that night? One shot.**

* * *

"I knew it!" Suddenly, someone snatched the milk from my face. Had it been anyone but him, I would have been furious. But, I found myself blushing when he saw me. "You drink right from the carton!"

He ran across the table, disbelief etched in his features.

If this hadn't been so embarrassing, I would have wanted to snap a picture of the expression on his face. Let's face it- Kurt Wagner has a very adorably funny shocked face. But, my horror at being discovered drinking the milk from the carton overshadowed any laughter bubbling up in my chest.

"Kurt! I.. I, uh… I was gonna finish the whole thing!" I tried to maintain my composure, staring at the blue elf sitting on the table across from me. He smirked.

"Okay then, drink up!" His disbelief turned into a teasing smirk as he shook the bottle in front of my face. "Just about a half a gallon left!"

I groaned, and scowled at him.

"Um, look! Intruders!" I pointed behind him at the empty wall. I liked taking any chance to turn a situation to my favor- preferably with enough valley girl whining to annoy them into submission.

"I'm not falling for that." He said stoutly. I frowned.

"Why is it such a big deal?"

"How long have you been doing this?" Kurt demanded, ignoring my question entirely. "Ever since you moved in?"

"N-No!" I groaned.

"Argh! My poor, poor cereal…" Kurt looked sadly at the box of cereal on the counter.

"Kurt, it's not, like, that big a deal." I sighed irritably. It was annoying when your best friend- _strictly_ friends, right?- had complete blackmail on you.

"Kitty, you've been drinking out of the carton. And probably backwashing into it." Kurt pointed out. "I don't know how many times I've had to eat your spit with my cereal!"

Okay, that did sound a little gross. But there was no way I would let him win that battle! Besides, it's not like it was a huge deal! It was just like kissing.

Just like kissing?

"This is like only the third time I've done it, I swear!" I grinned sheepishly, tugging on my hair nervously.

"Augh!" Kurt groaned. "Three times? Please let it all have been out of _this_ carton…"

"Erm… Well, I wouldn't, like, say that…" The valley girl speech invaded my speech as my nerves picked up.

"Blegh! That's disgusting Kitty!"

"Coming from someone who, like, eats candy he drops on the floor a few days after dropping it?"

"That's different." Kurt explained.

"How so?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's not covered in someone else's spit!" He replied, as if it were obvious. I rolled my eyes.

If you haven't ever wanted to wring his neck, then you haven't been in love, If you haven't ever seriously considered it, but then remembered that you'd probably get caught, you most certainly haven't been in love.

I opened my clenched fists beneath the table, and let out a sigh.

"Why are you so, like, annoying?" I demanded.

"Like, I don't like know!" He smirked.

"So I say like a lot!" I scowled. "Jeeze, gag me with a spoon! What is it with you and, like, teasing?"

He shrugged.

"Does it matter?"

I set my pizza down with a sigh. Yes, it did matter! How was I supposed to know when he was joking or serious? How could I even _begin_ to interpret all those little signs only girls notice? How would I ever fall into one of those great misunderstandings that ends up helping us both in the end?

Okay, maybe not the last one. That's just a generic movie plot.

"Earth to Kitty!" He waved a hand in front of my face. "Anything going on in there?"

"Just thinking." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Okay." He blinked. "Back to this milk thing- don't do it! Just think- everyone living here could have practically made out with you!"

"Oh, what do you care, Fuzzy?"

"I only care that it's gross!" He said quickly, his tail coiling suddenly.

I wondered for a moment if he cared because it would be, essentially, making out with me. But, I banished the thought, and grinned.

"Stop being weird." I giggled.

"Don't do it again, okay?"

"Um…"

I put a thoughtful finger to my lips, and gave him a smirk. He rolled his eyes at me, and I couldn't resist a little pout.

"I still don't, like, get the big deal."

"Gross!" He shuddered. "That's the point!"

"You've never done it?" I raised an eyebrow.

"_Nein._" He shook his head. "I have respect for other people's cereal!"

Respect for cereal? That was probably the lamest excuse I had ever heard exit his lips! I rolled my eyes, and smirked.

"Respect. For cereal." I deadpanned. "Well, I guess you're oh-so morally above me, huh?"

"I suppose so." He grinned.

And suddenly, I had jerked the milk carton from his hands and poured it on his head. Collapsing into a fit of giggles, I tried to catch my breath as the shocked elf let out a cry of disbelief. The milk dripped down his face and fur, pretty much ruining his pajamas.

"Kitty!"

"Yeah?"

"Kitty!"

He was laughing too, though his laughter was laced with disbelief. I grinned helplessly at my sopping wet friend. Next thing I knew, he had teleported across the room, grabbed a bag of flour, and poured the entire bag onto my head.

I shrieked. How could I not? It was dry as it entered my mouth, and I coughed. After making sure the bag was empty, he proceeded to shove the flour so that it would fall to cover my body.

"Kurt Wagner!" I shouted.

"Ja?"

Wordlessly, I ran straight to the refrigerator (through a few counters), and snatched up some egss.

"You wouldn't!" He gaped at me. Taking the challenge, I phased into the floor and came up just behind him, smashing the eggs into his hair.

"Ha!"

I cackled with glee, running from him as he thought of a way to return fire. Feeling the orange juice slosh through my shirt, I turned to unleash my fury on the hapless blue mutant. Instead, something unexpected happened.

He kissed me.

I was reeling when I returned the kiss. What had prompted this? Had he liked me all along? Did he even-

"What are you two _doing_?" Rogue stared at us. It was morning, and the team was coming down for breakfast. Such close quarters bugged me at that moment, because (had this been in the mansion and not underground) I could have simply phased downstairs.

"Uh…"

We broke apart rather sheepishly. Jamie's eyes were about to pop out of his skull.

"What did you do to the kitchen?" Bobby gaped. "Having some rowdy fun, kids?"

"Don't call us kids!" I snapped. "We're older than you!"

"See what happens when you drink from the carton?"


	2. Milk, part dos

**This has been running around in my head for awhile. I finally decided to act on it. What was Kurt thinking throughout their exchange? Hope you enjoy!**

**... ... ...**

"I knew it!" I cried out in horror. With a swift motion, I jerked the jug of milk away from her face. "You drink straight from the carton!" A pink flush stained her cheeks- a very fetching, adorable pink flush.

For a moment, I had to remind myself that I was looking at my best friend, Kitty Pryde. To distract myself, I darted across the table away from her and turned back to stare at her in disgust.

"Kurt!" Her blush deepened, if such a thing was possible. I took a moment to reflect on how perfectly her voice wrapped around my name. "I.. I, uh… I was gonna finish the whole thing!"

I smirked at her, eyeing the carton in my hand. There was no possible way that girl could finish the entire carton. She was too small- her stomach would probably explode.

"Okay, drink up!" I waved the carton in front of her face. The milk sloshed against its walls. "Just about half a gallon left!"

Her eyes narrowed, and I could tell she was thinking of a way to get out of this. She had this tendency to believe that no one noticed her "scheming" face; it was impossible _not_ to notice it. Her eyes narrowed, and she would chew on her lower lip as she attempted to think of a believable cover story.

Not that I had spent an inordinate amount of time staring at said face.

"Um, look! Intruders!" She cried out, pointing behind me in an _almost_ convincing manner. For a brief moment, I considered the idea. We had just been outed as mutants; it wouldn't exactly surprise me. But, in that moment, I saw the look on her face and promptly decided she was a liar.

"I'm not falling for that." I told her. Her face fell, and I got the distinct feeling I had ruined what she considered to be a clever ruse.

"Why is it such a big deal?" She demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"How long have you been doing this?" I asked instead, seeing as I didn't have a good answer beyond the obvious- it was just a little disgusting. A horrible thought struck me. "Ever since you moved in?"

"N-No!" She flushed again, and I knew immediately that she was lying again.

"Argh! My poor, poor cereal…" I lamented, staring forlornly at a box of Lucky Charms on the counter. All this time, my delicious sugary breakfast had shared milk with her germs and spit.

"Kurt, it's not, like, that big a deal." She sighed at me. I gave her an incredulous look. Not that big a deal? It was a _huge_ deal (for reasons I hadn't exactly decided upon at the moment). I decided to try to reason with her.

"Kitty, you've been drinking out of the carton. And probably backwashing into it." I paused, suppressing a little shiver of disgust. No one- not even pretty girls that happen to be totally off-limits due to a close friendship- should be allowed to put their spit in a communal drink. It made me wonder who else had these sort of habits- maybe my orange juice had been contaminated too! "I don't know how many times I've had to eat your spit with my cereal!"

I could tell from the look on her face that she agreed with me, just a little.

"This is only, like, the third time I've done it, I swear!" She played sheepishly with a strand of her hair. It would have been hard to concentrate on the conversation if I weren't so outraged on my cereal's behalf.

"Augh! Three times?" I frowned. "Please let it all have been out of _this_ carton…"

"Erm… Well, I wouldn't, like, say that…" She admitted nervously.

"Blegh! That's disgusting Kitty!" I stared at her incredulously.

"This coming from someone who, like, eats candy he dropped on the floor a few days after dropping it?" She raised a delicate eyebrow.

"That's diffeent." I shrugged.

"How so?" She stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

"It's not covered in someone else's spit!" I resisted the urge to add an immature "Duh!" to the end of my sentence.

She rolled her eyes at me. I wondered if she was struggling internally about the multitude of ways to end my life. I tend to have that effect on people.

"Why are you so, like, annoying?" She demanded after a moment of silent (and probably angry) thought.

"Like, I don't like know!" I replied in my best imitation of a high-pitched valley girl voice.

"So I say like a lot!" She glared at me. I just grinned at her. "Jeeze, gag me with a spoon! What is it with you and, like, teasing?"

It took a great deal of willpower to not point out that she had entirely made my point.

"Does it matter?" I asked her. She set her pizza down with a scowl and promptly got lost in thought.

Let me take a moment here to explain how very hopeless the situation was. There I was, head over heels for the amazing and beautiful girl who just so happened to be my best friend. Not only had I spent the last year watching her throw herself at Lance, but I happened to discover her performing one of the worst acts of sacrilege to cereal I'd ever seen. And, of course, there was that little detail that she would never, ever share my feelings for her.

"Earth to Kitty!" I waved a hand in front of her face when I felt she had spent enough time lost in thought. "Anything going on in there?"

"Just thinking." She tried to shrug nonchalantly, but it came across as rather staged. For a moment (just a moment), I felt a faint increase of my heart's tempo, as if she'd been thinking about me. I quickly dismissed the thought.

"Okay." I would let her get away with this one. Suddenly, an awful thought struck me. "Back to the milk thing- don't do it! Just think- everyone living here could have practically made out with you!" Myself included.

"Oh, what do you care, Fuzzy?"

That was a loaded question. I blinked at her several times, apparently incapable of normal human speech. Finally, I managed to unglue my idiotic vocal chords to say something even stupider.

"I only care that it's gross!" I was only slightly aware of the unfortunate coil of my tail. A dead giveaway.

She eyed me carefully.

"Stop being weird." She finally said with a small giggle.

"Don't do it again, okay?" I couldn't remove the image of Bobby or Ray drooling lavishly over their cereal, secure in the knowledge that they were practically making out with Kitty Pryde, from my mind. I know, it was a weird image. I can't help the things that pop into my mind.

"Um…" She put a thoughtful finger to her lips, and I rolled my eyes at her. She could be ridiculously stubborn. Like when she thought she might one day know how to cook without giving someone food poisoning (impossible) or when she thought she might learn to drive without taking out several street signs (doubtful).

"I still don't, like, get the big deal." She pointed out with a little frown. I almost gave in and dropped the subject at the expression- it was endearing, almost a puppy dog face. However, I decided that this was something I had to stand strong in. I would not allow Bobby and Ray to taunt me with their near-Kitty-make-outs!

"Gross!" I told her with a frown. "That's the point!"

"You've never done it?" She looked at me doubtfully.

"_Nein_." I informed her. "I have respect for other people's cereal."

I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing: that is the lamest thing I've ever heard. She confirmed my horrified thought by rolling her eyes and smirking at me.

"Respect. For cereal." She attempted to deadpan. It was clear she was trying not to laugh at me. "Well, I guess you're oh-so morally above me, huh?"

"I suppose so." I grinned at her, feeling a warm flush of affection for her.

That disappeared as she jerked the carton of milk from my unsuspecting hands and dumped the contents of the carton on my head. Milk dripped into my eyes and mouth, soaking my hair and fur in a white coating of liquid. It dripped down my pajama shirt, and I stared at her, half-incredulous, half-amused.

"Kitty!" It was the only thing I could think to say.

"Yeah?" She asked innocently.

"Kitty!" I repeated.

Laughter bubbled from both of us, engulfing the little kitchen. She was very amused with herself and her little prank. Taking my opportunity in her momentary distraction, I teleported across the room and grabbed the bag of flour. Upon returning, I dumped the entire bag on her head. It formed a snowy pile on her head, and I smashed it down to make sure she got the full effect.

She let out a shriek, followed quickly by a cough as she inhaled the dry flour.

I merely laughed at her.

"Kurt Wagner!" She shouted at me. I wondered if she was oblivious to the fact that she started it. Or the fact that milk was way worse than flour.

"Ja?"

Without another word, she turned on her heels and ran through the counters to liberate several eggs from the refrigerator.

"You wouldn't." I narrowed my eyes at her. I almost wished Western show down music was playing in the background. She smirked at me, as if accepting my challenge. I had a very foreboding feeling as she disappeared into the floor.

Less than two seconds later, I felt the runny eggs smash into my hair.

"Ha!" She crowed triumphantly, dancing just out of reach as I tried to plot a quick revenge. I grabbed the orange juice from the still open fridge and slung it at her, cheering as it sloshed over her back.

With a wordless shriek, she whipped around to give me a taste of her fury.

I don't know what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was how very fetching she was, covered in flour and orange juice. Maybe it was because I'd dreamed of doing this every night since I'd met her.

When she spun around to give me a piece of her mind, I kissed her.

She seemed stunned. For an awful moment, I was sure she would push me away and our friendship would be ruined. I was already running through a thousand apologies and/or excuses when she returned the kiss.

For several long moments, my world was perfect.

"What are you two _doing_?" Rogue's voice interrupted my perfect moment in an incredulous tone. I guess our shouting had woken the team slightly earlier than expected.

"Uh…" Kitty grinned sheepishly and we broke apart. I was elated, nearly floating.

"What did you do to the kitchen?" Bobby gaped, staring at the puddles of milk and orange juice, the egg shells and flour. "Having some rowdy fun, kids?"

"Don't call us kids!" Kitty snapped at him, blushing. "We're older than you!"

I shot Kitty an exasperated look. "See what happens when you drink from the carton?"

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End file.
